


Let Sleeping Detectives Lie (…Or Make Them)

by Aerica_Menai



Series: Ace of Hearts [2]
Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: (again), (he fixes it), Asexual Character, Asexual Spectrum, Asexuality, Coming Out, M/M, Misunderstandings, canonical levels of foot-in-mouth-syndrome on Hattori's part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 04:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21173780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerica_Menai/pseuds/Aerica_Menai
Summary: Shinichi needs sleep - Kaito knows how make sure he gets some. Unfortunately, a certain detective decides to throw a wrench in things, leading to confessions, threats, apologies and revenge pranks. (Mostly in that order.)





	Let Sleeping Detectives Lie (…Or Make Them)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Asexual Awareness Week! This was inspired by the Fandom Aspec Challenge's prompt of Trope Inversion: in this case, what looks like a kinky sex thing actually not being a kinky sex thing. In other words, saying "this isn't what it looks like!" and *actually meaning it.*
> 
> Beta'd by the always amazing and incredible @grayraincurtain <3

Shinichi hadn’t been sleeping, Kaito could tell. The amount of coffee he needed to wake up properly had doubled and then tripled, the bags under his eyes started growing their own bags, and the case files scattered around his house were changing at a more rapid pace than usual. The detective needed to start getting more sleep – and Kaito knew exactly what to do to make it happen. 

First, Kaito tried to talk to Shinichi, see if he was at the point that a reasonable request might convince him to take the path of least resistance. But even Kaito’s quiet, “Shinichi? Don’t you think you should be getting a bit more sleep?” and his devastating puppy dog eyes and pout combo weren’t as effective as they should have been.

He only received a slight hesitation before Shinichi shook his head and muttered, “I’ve almost cracked this cold case, after this one. Promise.” Which Kaito would probably trust a bit more if he hadn’t heard that before each of the last three cold cases. It was time to bring out the big guns.

*~*

That night, before he got into bed, Kaito went and checked on Shinichi. The detective had clearly been working, but was currently facedown on his open case file, dead to the world. “Well,” Kaito hummed, “guess that saves me a vial of sleeping gas!”

And with that, he picked up the dead weight of his unconscious boyfriend and walked him into the bedroom. There, the rest of the tools necessary for his plan were already laid out on the nightstand. But first, Kaito stripped Shinichi down to his boxers before putting a nice, comfortable pajama set on him; no need for him to keep sleeping in his work clothes, after all! Then he gently placed Shinichi down on the bed and under the covers. Shinichi curled up into his usual pillbug position, arms curled up in front of his face and hands in loose fists. “Perfect, perfect,” Kaito muttered to himself as he carefully fastened silk ties around his wrists – tight enough to be difficult to wriggle out of without being too restrictive – and anchored them to the headboard. The last and possibly most important piece was the sleeping mask; too often the light from the sun woke Shinichi up, no matter how heavy the shades and blinds in the bedroom were. Kaito grinned to himself in satisfaction; now Shinichi should get some sleep, and it was about time.

*~*

But of course, even the best laid plans can be destroyed when the right wrench is thrown in them; in this case, the wrench was a tan, loud-mouthed Osakan. One who was going to pay for his barging into the Kudo mansion while Kaito was distracted with testing out new magic tricks in the basement. 

Kaito didn’t hear Hattori enter the house, only Shinichi’s yelling for Kaito to “get up here and untie me NOW, dammit!” 

Kaito was not expecting this call for another few hours at least, but when he poofed up to the top floor, he saw a blushing Hattori averting his eyes from their bedroom and figured out that Hattori had messed up his well-executed plan. Very well, he would have to try again later. Kaito quickly went into the bedroom and snapped his fingers, releasing the bonds and removing the sleeping mask from a flushed Shinichi. His adorable, sleep-mussed boyfriend opened his mouth to shout, but Kaito jumped in first. “Shinichi, you and I both know you needed the sleep,” Kaito started sternly. “If I had known Hattori would be coming by today, I wouldn’t have tied you to the bed until he had left – you know that.” 

Shinichi mumbled, “I do, I know. I’m not...really angry about that part. And I’m not really angry with you, if I’m being honest with myself.” He slumped against the headboard. 

“What is it, darling?” Kaito murmured as he sat down next to Shinichi and pulled him into a hug.

Shinichi sighed. “You know that I’ve not come out to Hattori yet, right? I just...I know what he’s like. He’s going to say something stupid, and it’s going to hurt. He probably won’t mean it. But…” He bit his lip. “Maybe he will. And I won’t be able to tell, at first. And it’s going to suck.”

“Right...”

“And so now,” Shinichi continued, “I have two options. Lie to him, let him think this was some sex thing,” Shinichi shuddered, “Or...tell the truth. And I don’t know which would garner the worse reaction.”

Kaito squeezed his shoulder. “That aside, you know that you’d feel gross that Hattori thought we were having sex – kinky sex, no less – and you didn’t correct him. I understand not wanting to tell him, but...”

Shinichi sighed. “I know,” he grumbled. “Let me go get this over with.”

*~*

Shinichi walked into the hallway to see Hattori fidgeting and looking up at the ceiling. “I’m decent,” Shinichi drawled, causing Hattori to flinch and finally look him in the eyes.

“I – I’m so sorry, Kudo,” Hattori sputters. 

“It’s fine, Kaito was just...trying to make sure I got some sleep,” Shinichi yawned.

Hattori’s eyes narrowed. “You mean that wasn’t a sex thing, the blindfold and the ropes and stuff?”

Shinchi flinched before letting out an awkward laugh. “That is definitely not what was going on.”

“Really? Kuroba just...tied you up so that you’d sleep?”

Shinichi’s gaze became a glare. “That’s what I said,” he snapped.

Hattori sighed. “Kudo, you know I wouldn’t judge you for what you and Kuroba do in the bedroom, I just don’t see why you feel the need to lie about it.”

Shinchi glared harder. “I’m not lying, Hattori! I’m fucking asexual!”

Hattori just blinked at him. “...No you’re not.”

Shinchi gaped. “Wh-what?” 

“Asexual people don’t date; everyone knows that.”

Shinchi pinched the bridge of his nose. “I...cannot have this conversation. I’m going to go get some sleep, like I was before you came barging in. Feel free to show yourself out.” And with that, he escaped back into his bedroom. He had known that would go poorly, he had expected it; so why did he just want to curl up into a ball and cry?

*~*

Kaito knew Hattori had fucked up when Shinichi came into the room, crawled back into bed and burst into tears. “I, I knew,” he hiccupped, “I knew it would go badly, why am I so upset?”

Kaito hugged him. “Because you care about Hattori’s opinion, and his being ignorant hurts.” He sighed. “And being so sleep-deprived isn’t helping. Try to get some sleep, love.”

Shinchi curled up and Kaito snuggled around him until Shinichi finally fell asleep. Then Kaito replaced the sleeping mask, set up the pillows to look (and more importantly, feel) like he was still curled around Shinchi, and went off to visit Hattori. He had a detective to educate.

*~*

To his surprise, Hattori was already researching asexuality when he arrived at his hotel room.

Hattori, on the other hand, didn’t seem surprised to see him; dating Shinichi was starting to make him predictable.

“I know, Kuroba, I fucked up,” Hattori started.

Kaito’s grin was terrifying. “Indeed you did,” he chirped menacingly. “The question is, do you know why?”

Hattori just blinked at him. “I didn’t do my research?”

Kaito made a buzzing sound. “No, no, nowhere near the right answer.” He dropped the grin. “No, your mistake was not listening to Shinichi, making him feel like his best friend doubted who he was. Your mistake,” Kaito snarled, “was not taking Shinichi’s word on his own sexuality when you have taken it blindly on so many other things about which he knew more than you.” Kaito paused to take a deep, calming breath. “Your mistake was not malicious, I’m sure, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt Shinichi – and, for all you know, other people in your life. Continue to educate yourself and make a very heartfelt apology to Shinichi tomorrow, hm?”

“Of course, Kuroba,” Hattori quickly replied.

“But not too early, Shinichi needs his sleep!”

Hattori smirked. “Got it.”

Kaito grinned and poofed out of the room to make his way back to the Kudo mansion. He had multiple pranks to plan, depending on how Shinichi took Hattori’s apology...

*~*

Kaito woke up curled around pillows instead of his detective – but it was pretty late in the morning, so hopefully Shinichi had gotten a decent amount of sleep in the end. He headed downstairs to see Hattori and Shinichi talking over breakfast. He gave Hattori the stink eye as he entered the room (earning a flinch – smart detective) before Shinichi called him off. “Good morning Kaito. And I called Hattori when I woke up, no need to glare at him.”

Fair enough then. Kaito let it go and started working on his own breakfast – happy to see that Shinichi looked relaxed and happy to be around his friend, no more awkwardness or hesitation. That was a huge improvement – good for Hattori. Kaito mentally scrapped the vast majority of the revenge plans he had drawn up last night. 

Hattori ended up inviting Shinichi and Kaito on a day of touring Tokyo – or at least Tokyo’s newest and best-rated restaurants. The three men enjoyed the day out – Hattori always enjoyed a good meal or five, Shinichi enjoyed spending time with his best friend, and Kaito enjoyed all the desserts and inflicting psychological torture as Hattori tried to prepare himself for Kaito exacting revenge for Shinichi. (Which he would, but all in good time. Hattori’s worry about when the punishment would fall was revenge enough for the moment.)

In the end, they all had a wonderful time and Hattori apologized (again) to Shinichi and said his goodbyes; he was ready to go back to Osaka. (And if he woke up the next morning with purple hair that wouldn’t wash out for a week, well. It certainly could have been worse.) 

Kaito was just happy that Shinichi was happy. He seemed – lighter. Less worried. Hattori’s acceptance had been good for him, and Kaito was willing to admit that the end result made up for the disastrous start – which is why he had used only purple in Hattori’s hair, and not all the ace flag colors. All’s well that ends well.


End file.
